As a man I don't usually go to malls and places like that unless I want to kill myself but today I went to a new LFS that just opened last week and it was supposed to open at 11:00am. So stupid me goes there thinking it will open at 11:00 like it is supposed to do. I am standing there at the door and there is no one inside and it is 23 degrees out. I then notice a mall across the street. I figure while I am waiting I will go and get my wife an addition to her Christmas present. This mall used to be (I think) the largest mall in the world, like you need a mall that big. So I figure I will go there and when I get out the LFS will be open. I go in the mall and end up in a store called New York & Company. It figures being I am in NY, I went there because there was only one person on line, thats how I shop, where there is no line, that is the only place I will go, and being I only do this once every few years, I go in. (If I see someone at the pump at a gas station, I don't get gas that day.)
I immediately see something I figure my wife will like on a dummy so I take the entire thing the dummy is wearing, the shirt, sweater, pants, scarf and jewelry. It looks good on the dummy so thats what I get.
I run over to the counter where that same person is being waited on.
She is talking about her kids, shopping, her husband, the weather, current events, Paris Hilton, recipies, etc.
If I had a submarine I would have torpedoed her.
While I was on line, and the only person on line, I saw a couple of other things I would have bought but I would not dare leave the register for fear I would lose my place. Now I am a New Yorker and New Yorkers are fast, but not fast enough for me, I want you to move and move fast or get out of my way.
So now it's my turn and I get all excited. I just want her to throw the stuff in a box and let me out of there, but of course they have to take off those little things that prevent you from stealing the item, then they have to scan it and look through a catalog to see if it is on sale, then walk over to the rack to check who knows what, then she asked me if I wanted a credit card or if I wanted points or if I wanted her to punch a card or get me anything else.
Just shoot me.
I don't want to date her or her Mother, just get me out.
See thats whats wrong with the economy. These stores would make a lot more money if they had seperate registers for men and women. The womens line could have couches, serve tea, talk about Oprah share stories about their kids etc and on the mens line they should have a gallows so we could hang ourselves while we are waiting to get out of there.
The LFS was still closed when I finally left.
I immediately see something I figure my wife will like on a dummy so I take the entire thing the dummy is wearing, the shirt, sweater, pants, scarf and jewelry. It looks good on the dummy so thats what I get.
I run over to the counter where that same person is being waited on.
She is talking about her kids, shopping, her husband, the weather, current events, Paris Hilton, recipies, etc.
If I had a submarine I would have torpedoed her.
While I was on line, and the only person on line, I saw a couple of other things I would have bought but I would not dare leave the register for fear I would lose my place. Now I am a New Yorker and New Yorkers are fast, but not fast enough for me, I want you to move and move fast or get out of my way.
So now it's my turn and I get all excited. I just want her to throw the stuff in a box and let me out of there, but of course they have to take off those little things that prevent you from stealing the item, then they have to scan it and look through a catalog to see if it is on sale, then walk over to the rack to check who knows what, then she asked me if I wanted a credit card or if I wanted points or if I wanted her to punch a card or get me anything else.
Just shoot me.
I don't want to date her or her Mother, just get me out.
See thats whats wrong with the economy. These stores would make a lot more money if they had seperate registers for men and women. The womens line could have couches, serve tea, talk about Oprah share stories about their kids etc and on the mens line they should have a gallows so we could hang ourselves while we are waiting to get out of there.
The LFS was still closed when I finally left.
