parenting advice 101

[spongebob lover]

Ok doods and doodettes i need some help .
as some of you might know, i have a 2 year old (he'll be 3 in July) , he's getting into pushing kids bigger and younger than him everytime we go to the playground.
I am always behind him but i really like to know what everyone does when your kid starts pushing another kid, do you give them time out right there in the middle of the playground, do you just take him home, do you give him a little spanking or what do you do? (Krish listen because you might need this ).
When we go outside and if we're not doing something he likes, he'd throw himself on the floor (in the middle of the street ) and starts crying and screaming to the top of his lungs, i seriously don't know what to do, i watch nanny 911 but i'd like to know what everyone does and well since i'm always here and talking to most of you, i'd really like to know.
I have tried giving him a little spank when we're at home, but i don't wanna just keep havign to use that punishment unless you think otherwise.
I'm also open for any good parenting books you have read , I know i'm still learning about being a parent, so don't feel bad and tell me !!!
ohh and last but not least, how do you stop your kid from saying bad words , he says the word stupid all the time and i really really would like him to stop saying it because some parents look at me like they're about to eat me.

 

[loohunter]

i punch my kid in the stomach and take him home right away, you need to to these kids who is boss right away or they will soon be pushing you

 

[loohunter]

a little tobasco or a mouth full of soap goes a long ways as well

 

[spongebob lover]

woou.. kewl.
i guess i could try that, i'm up for anything.
My kid thinks that he's the boss here sometimes and so he's always pointing with his finger at me and telling me like it is.
He likes eating soap though :doubt: , but i guess i could try some tabasco sauce.

 

[Krish]

LOL...Well if you live in the Bahamas you'd be straight. You could pull down a telephone pole and take off the wire and beat the crap out of them! You won't go to jail for it here. Infact, the police would join in if you want. Kids are allowed to be beaten with a cane, paddle or whatever in schools unless parents specifically state otherwise, but half of the time, the parents are for it. Not to get all Biblical an all(LOL) but the Bible does say, "Spare the rod, and spoil the child". Yeah it may hurt a bit now, but it will save you and them much more pain later. Nevertheless, beating a child isn't always the answer and IMO should be a last resort. I think if you give them their time out or ground them or whatever, you HAVE to stick to it and not compromise. If you do, then they will continue doing it because they know they can get away with it. I don't think I will beat my child, but if he/she acts up, I may pop them one!(LOL) Hope shorty eases up Gabbs...Make him drink some skimmate! He'll stop cussin'!

 

[MikeS]

Gabby, I'm thinking Loo is kidding about the punching and the tabasco... At least I hope so....

I have a 5 year old son, he has gone through phases like that...he's smaller than most kids his size, and I don't mind if he defends himself, but I don't tolerate him starting it...at 2 going on 3 it's a bit tougher, as they don't always stop to think of the consequences of their actions. I found the best way is to physically remove him from the situation immediately and tell him over and over why he is going home and not playing in the park anymore...kids are smart, it doesn't take them long to figure things like that out...and be consistant about it. If that doesn't help (it does take a bit of time) I have found another very good motivator is to take away something they really like, like a favorite toy and make him "earn" it back by stopping the bad behavior. Spanking works with some kids and is useless with others. I very, very rarely have to spank my son, the other stuff usually works fine.

MikeS

 

[loohunter]

i m just kidding there are 3 kids between lisa and i 2,4year olds and 1, 2 year old and i love them all, but i wont hesitate to spank a butt, they all seem to know that now and are pretty good.if my kid pushes another at the park i would take him home and tell him we cant come to the park cuz he cant be have

 

[loohunter]

well put mike i just wasn't fast enough

 

[Krish]

well put mike i just wasn't fast enough

Just like this

 

[loohunter]

well i would do some editing but im not sure how

 

[Krish]

well i would do some editing but im not sure how

LOL...It's simple. Just go to the post you want to edit, click the little edit icon to the bottom right of that post, change it and walla!!! Just like I will do on post 9(LOL)

 

[DonW]

I dont remember what we did at that age. Now I just threaten to cut them off and they straighten up. My grandson has done pretty well with time outs, but I think its tougher on my daughter than the grand kid.

Don

 

[wrightme43]

One word
TAZER!!

 

[Krish]

100 bucks says nikki posts next

 

[NaH2O]

I agree with what MikeS has said here, for the most part. Except, I'm not a fan of spanking (not to start any kind of debate...just stating my view), and my personal opinion, especially with kids showing aggressive behavior, is it wouldn't teach them anything good. My daughter soon to be 4 1/2, was always the kid getting picked on. My very dear friend and neighbor has a daughter the same age, and the girls have been together since babies. Her daughter was usually the one picking on mine, and now her 2 1/2 year old son is biting, pushing, etc. What we (takes a village to raise a child ) found worked the best was to give the child that was pushed the attention..."Are you ok?" and give hugs, kisses, etc...... then make the child that pushed apologize (if it didn't happen right at that moment, a phone call or visit later to apologize happened). A warning to the child that the next time pushing, or whatever the inappropriate behavior is happens again, she/he is going inside/home and losing a privilege (favorite toy, movie, etc)..... Time-outs sometimes worked, sometimes not. It seems that by removing favorite things, they get the point. You'd be surprised what they understand at 2 1/2. The losing toys was always a big one with my daughter. I ended up making a huge pile of her favorite toys one day, as she continued to defy me (each time I'd take something else), then I told her the next time I'd throw them in the garbage. Well, needless to say, they went into the garbage after the final straw, and that was the last time I ever had to make that threat.

One thing to keep in mind....you are the parent. Don't let your son manipulate or control you. Have confidence in your parenting skills, and know we all make mistakes.....but consistency is key. I don't know how many times I've had to put my daughter back on the time-out spot and reset the timer . Believe in yourself, and know you are a good parent and in control of the situation Gabby! You can do it. I remember 3 years old was worse then 2 with mine....but it passes! You'll get there!

 

[NaH2O]

100 bucks says nikki posts next

Krish - you really need to go to the Casino at Atlantis! :lol:

 

[Dieselbreath]

Can I have the $100. The kids next door don't behave in a much more intense way. Their mom even calls the police. All the cops do is drive by. Da++ kids. I glad I was perfect...LOL LOLOLOLOL

I guess I lost was too slow.

 

[Krish]

Krish - you really need to go to the Casino at Atlantis!

Who's da man!:lol: If only it was that easy to predict things...I'd be a millionaire

Can I have the $100. The kids next door don't behave in a much more intense way. Their mom even calls the police. All the cops do is drive by. Da++ kids. I glad I was perfect...LOL LOLOLOLOL

I guess I lost was too slow.

Almost had it man(LOL) Typing lessons could have made $100 bucks!

 

[jesshimom]

Here's my two cents.... when my kids were young (they are adopted and we got them when Jesse was just two and Shilo was one week past her first birthday), I knew I couldn't stand rowdy kids in restaurants, stores and so on. So my theory was to remove them from the situation when they were doing the behaviors I didnt want.

So Gabby, I would tell him what you expect, he's not too young to understand, and if he doesn't act the way you tell him you leave. It doesn't take long he will figure it out. I left several carts of stuff at Target, even the grocery store. I cannot stand tantrums and wild kids in stores.

Now that they are older, when we are in stores and kids are running around, Jesse in particular really frowns and says they shouldn't be doing that. He also has told me before "it's all their parents fault." Why yes it is.

Now I need another thread for help.. Jesse is 13 and Shi is right behind him and they are more challenging than I ever thought possible.

 

[Krish]

I think that is admireable of you Colleen to adopt two kids...If it weren't for people like you, a lot of kids would be without parents...