I'm 45 and have had tanks since I was 10, starting with fresh and evolving to cichlid, brackish and finally reef.
Cleaners are a part of life - just be careful around the tanks and there should be no problems. I have never had a tank crash because of household chemicals - It's just a matter of common sense. I will admit that I use non-toxic stuff to clean my glass, etc. just because they're available and work well. There are plenty out there - Advanage, Method, Greenworks, etc. Here in the Northwest there are whole aisles of this stuff in your local Safeway. There's also the microfiber cloths that you can just use without cleaners.
I'm a candle fanatic (especially the highly fragranced soy kinds) and reed diffuser user (one in each room) - and haven't ever had the candles/fragrances cause a problem with the tanks.