well i think i found the root of all my problems. i've been buying water from the seattle aquarium for all my water changes. well today i tested the alk, calc and magnesium levels of the aquarium water. alk was at 2.0, calcium was around 300, magnesium was around 800, ph was 7.8. i'm going to go ahead and use the water this time around but i think it's time i bought an ro/di unit and just started making my water change water. i think that should solve my instabilities.
i guess the water out of the sound isn't that high in the stuff i need.