Squirrels are Freakin Evil

[MikeS]

Hope I don't offend anyone but here in Louisiana they make a good gumbo when smoked, I have to say there great, I guess it is like eating fish even though I love them as pets, can that be called an oxymoron?

The best pets are the edible ones...:lol:

MikeS

 

[Maxx]

Glad everyone can relate or see where I'm coming from. I sent Nikki the story about the woman attacking squirrel in Chicago and she suggested I post the old story up also....

I love that commercial where the two squirrels run out into the road causing a car to veer off the road and go off a cliff, they give eachother hi 5's afterwards. Hilarious.

Yeah, I thought it was cute too...til I had my run in with the furry demon. I used to think that was all CGI'd and photoshopped to get those squirrels to do that....Now I'm not so sure.

Here is my plan, its just wrong. Make a box feeder. About 18x18" square. put a heavy gauge wire mesh in the bottom. Feed them for a month or two. Then line the mesh with double sided sticky tape. Mwaaaahhhhhaaaaaaaaaa........

Why the sticky tape? Wouldnt a set of jumper cables and a car battery be more fun? Quicker anyway....

Hope I don't offend anyone but here in Louisiana they make a good gumbo when smoked, I have to say there great, I guess it is like eating fish even though I love them as pets, can that be called an oxymoron?

Scott, you and Steve need to get together and work on the fried squirrel thing....I'm telling you, car battery, jumper cables and the feeder...you guys would be in business.

Apprentice,
If the squirrel hissed at you, it was serious....I was scared as all hell when the one hissed at me...What where you deer hunting with, and why didnt you de3fend yourself with it? It was coming right for you.

Nikki,
There are a few of them in the area, but between Tyler, Gracie and a fearless neighborhood cat, (Its not frightened of Tyler and saunters along the wood fence just out of his reach, infuriating him), they seem to realize this house is off limits.

Tim,
thats a great story. I'd have paid money to see a squirrel in freefall and then bounce a couple of times.....thats truely funny. Kinda reminds me of the old Monty Python skit..."Kamikaze Highlanders"

Nick

 

[wrightme43]

The sticky tape is because I am demented. The jumper cables would be great. It would just take all the fun of a trapped pissed off squirell. Also the nieghbors might compain about the singed hair smell. LOL LOL

 

[Maxx]

Nahh, just invite em over for the BBQ.

They'll settle down once they realize just how tasty Tree Weasel is.

Nick

 

[wrightme43]

LOL thats funny. Should I smoke the tree weasel with oak, apple, or hickory wood? Thats the question.

 

[The Apprentice]

Hissing Squirlle's

I did shoot it with MY 36MM disposable camera I had him dead in my sights Plus I didn't want to scare all the Big Bucks away I just had my little 243 I needed a MAGNUM



Quote from Nick:Apprentice,
If the squirrel hissed at you, it was serious....I was scared as all hell when the one hissed at me...What where you deer hunting with, and why didnt you de3fend yourself with it? It was coming right for you.

 

[jetaero]

WOW!!! Squirrels are bad!

I know someone with a pet squirrel... And it's bit him before, and drawn LOTS of blood!

ROFL@maxx's story

-Josh-

 

[Scooterman]

LOL thats funny. Should I smoke the tree weasel with oak, apple, or hickory wood? Thats the question.

Humm we usually use oak or pecan but apple sounds good also !

 

[spongebob lover]

LOL thats funny. Should I smoke the tree weasel with oak, apple, or hickory wood? Thats the question.

LMBO!!!! that sounds tasty :lol: don't forget to add some honey and some hot sauce :lol:

 

[Curtswearing]

Sinister Squirrel Embarks on Seven-Day Reign of Terror

It was an unrivaled force of destruction capable of inspiring sheer terror in the hearts of the stoic. It was a sinister picnic crasher hell-bent on havoc. It was a vicious villain who seemed to take pleasure in inflicting injury on the innocent.

It was a squirrel. And it was one bad rodent.

When word spread about the demise of the squirrel in Winter Park's Central Park, more and more of its victims came forward with tales of unprovoked fury and picnics crashed.

Dylan Osborne, 19, says he could’ve ended the critter’s seven-day reign of terror if authorities would’ve heeded his call, the Orlando Sentinel reports.

He and his friends were celebrating a birthday in the park when they came face to face with the furry fiend’s fury. The squirrel jumped on his friend, latched on to her leg and bit her. When they shook it off, it attacked her shoes as they lay by the fountain.

(Story continues below)

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When Osborne went to swat it away, it turned on him.

"It started getting in attack position towards me," he said.

Osborne caught the critter mid-flight in a cake box and called the authorities, but after a few hours the squirrel began chewing through his impromptu cage. Even after trading the box for a bucket, they were forced to let the menace free after waiting for city workers who never came.

"I was furious," Lance Osborne, Dylan’s father, said. "My son basically sat on top of this squirrel on a cake box and on a bucket in downtown Winter Park, and no one did anything about it."

"Normally we don't respond to squirrels," Dil Luther, assistant manager for the animal-services division, said.

Alisa Cox and her 3-year-old son, Carson, were walking through the park when they saw a frightened woman being chased by a squirrel coming in their direction.

Before they knew it, the squirrel gave up on the lady and went medieval on Carson’s leg.

"He's just so terrified," Cox said. "He told his daddy, 'I want you to go back there and run him over with the car.'"

Authorities were eventually able to catch the squirrel with a litter trapper, but not before a failed attempt in which they tried to subdue it with pepper spray.

"All it does is fuel my fires that it's been going on for a full week," said James Klute, whose son was attacked while kicking a soccer ball in the park. "Once it happens once, someone should go out and do something."

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,208026,00.html

 

[Maxx]

And the conspiracy continues....


There is something seriously wrong with a tree climbing rat. Its just plain evil.

Nick

 

[shallowreef]

Squirells may be evil but possums are their sidekicks! Those things can really be evil.

 

[Maxx]

Possums are more like stupid henchmen...

Not that bright, (playing dead...cmon)
Not that fast, (they sort of scurry....)
Not that cute, (rat tail, gnarled teeth, smell bad)

Squirrels are evil for many reasons, but:

They are smart, (found away into my old apartment)
They are clever, (was easily able to evade my dog, and escaped my net with kung fu reflexive moves)
They are cute, (With the bushy tail, and the big brown eyes, they look sooo harmless)

......and thats the true genius behind their plan. Its disarming.

Nick

 

[snobanker]

The other night a citizen brought an injured squirrel into our PD station demanding that we help it. One of our officers was talking to the lady trying to explain that animal control nor the Dept of Wildlife and especially the police department would do anything for the squirrel. Of course she kept demanding so he radioed dispatch and asked if they had any numbers for any wild animal rescue places, then added "or barring that does anyone have any good tree rat recipes?" of course one of our other officers (from Alabama) asked back over the radio in his slow southern "Bama" twang...." how big is it?"

I thought it was hilarious, but I suppose it was funnier in person

 

[spongebob lover]

Possums are more like stupid henchmen...

Not that bright, (playing dead...cmon)
Not that fast, (they sort of scurry....)
Not that cute, (rat tail, gnarled teeth, smell bad)

Squirrels are evil for many reasons, but:

They are smart, (found away into my old apartment)
They are clever, (was easily able to evade my dog, and escaped my net with kung fu reflexive moves)
They are cute, (With the bushy tail, and the big brown eyes, they look sooo harmless)

......and thats the true genius behind their plan. Its disarming

LMBO!!! :lol: that's a good one..... you guys just reminded me of the movie Caddyshack :lol: for some reason i imagine Nick trying to hunt the poor squirrels :lol:

The other night a citizen brought an injured squirrel into our PD station demanding that we help it. One of our officers was talking to the lady trying to explain that animal control nor the Dept of Wildlife and especially the police department would do anything for the squirrel. Of course she kept demanding so he radioed dispatch and asked if they had any numbers for any wild animal rescue places, then added "or barring that does anyone have any good tree rat recipes?" of course one of our other officers (from Alabama) asked back over the radio in his slow southern "Bama" twang...." how big is it?"

I thought it was hilarious, but I suppose it was funnier in person
__________________

partner for some reason i have a feeling you gave the squirrel CPR and after 3 hours you gave up and now your just trying to hide what really happened :lol:

 

[Maxx]

Stan,
Thats pretty nice man. Wish I'd been there.

As far as possums go, was riding home from work just a few minutes ago, and had one run out in front of the motorcycle, causing me brake hard, then it scurried back the way it came.....

I'm sure some squirrel put him up to that.

Nick

 

[Curtswearing]

LOL!!!

When I was in high school (before I could drive), I went door to door for a construction company. One day I came upon the tiniest squirrel I had ever seen in my life. I picked it up and it made a sound.

Then from every tree on the street, I heard all of the other squirrel's "barking". There's more of them than you could possibly imagine. Be afraid......be VEEEEEERY afraid.

 

[Meche]

My dad used to live in Michigan (it gets cold at night in michigan Krish). One morning he set off for work, got about 1/4 mile down the road and boom! (he had a 5.0L Mustang and had just reciently done some tinkering). His heart sunk and he pulled over to inspect the engine bay and determine why his dashboard was lit up like a christmas tree. When he lifted the hood he... well; lost his breakfast. A (what used to be) possum apparently climed into the enigine bay for warmth the previous night. When my dad fired up the motor and headed down the road, that must have awoken and scared the crap out of the little bugger. His only escape route would have been round the pullies and through the cooling fan.

 

[Curtswearing]

OIL CITY, Pa. — Letter carriers occasionally have to deal with angry dogs or maybe even a spider's nest in a mailbox, but a mean squirrel?

Barb Dougherty, a 30-year Postal Service employee, said she was attacked and bitten Monday by a squirrel while delivering mail on Allegheny Avenue in Oil City.

Dougherty saw the squirrel on the porch when she put mail in the box, but when she turned to walk away, the squirrel attacked her, she said.

"It was a freak thing. It was traumatic," she told The Derrick and News-Herald. "I saw it there on the porch, put the mail in the box and turned to walk away and it jumped on me."

Dougherty was able to grab the squirrel by the tail and pull it off.

She was taken by ambulance to the hospital where she was treated for cuts and scratches and given the first series of rabies shots as a precaution. The squirrel was killed by a BB gun and is being tested for rabies.

Postal officials said the attack was extraordinary.

"We've had bugs and spiders, but this is the first time I've ever heard of anything like this," said Steve Jolley, customer service manager for the Postal Service's Oil City branch.

http://www.foxnews.com/printer_friendly_story/0,3566,226760,00.html

 

[Skimmy]

well, you should be proud to know then that my german short hair pointer/pit bull terrier discorporates squirrels on a weekly basis,
she has gotten almost too good at dispaching them, not enough playtime...
(add image of dog's head violently shaking prey here)
i almost feel sorry for them, almost...