Doing The Right Thing?

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rugie

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[not sure where to post this thread] Having been involved lately with a thread that was consequently locked due to animosities leaves me with a sense of remorse, guilt and confusion. along with common courtesy and respect, what is the criteria for participation in a thread? when does amiable discussion give way to needing "proof" of what you say? or needing to produce documentation for a persons views, or statements, or analogies? or providing backgrounds for the above? should all that is said or declared be accompanied with LOL? IMO? or just my 2 cents? etc, so as not to be taken seriously? is it proper to post with statements that may be derogatory and out of text? The RF site abounds with experienced reefers (& other types of marine aquarists) members. This provides all of us with a certain amount of available peer respect. The Advanced Topics criteria reads,
Advanced Topics Come and discuss the latest concepts in Marine reef keeping.
Does "discuss" mean (a sharing of information, and ideas,) for a post reply to be offered in good faith with out needing to feel intimidated by needing documentation of what one brings to the thread. I am interested in where members feel they fit into the scheme of things here on RF and in what frame of mind they enter into a thread.
RUGIE :rolleyes: :confused:
 
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I dont know and I am not going to go to far into this. I think and this is just my opinion that it had went way to far, there was no way any more usable info was going to come out in that thread. Had I been in a admistrators shoes I probley would of closed it as well. I read the whole thing. I looked up probiotics and the word reef on google. The links to reef frontiers that came up at the top of the page reflected badly on our community. I am not saying it is your fault or anyone elses. I have many times been guilty of acting in a manner I am not proud of. If this bothers anyone let me know and I will delete it.
I hope that every one can let this go.
I know for me, after I apoligized to someone on here that I had treated badly, we have become friends.
Steve
 
Well, for me rugie, I try to fit as best I can here. I'm not the brightest when it comes to the "science of things" nevertheless I try to offer as much as I can, when I can, with what I have to offer. I've said it before a few times in private (pm)and I'll say it aloud for everyone to read, that I think you are very knowledgeable and find you to be a kind person from the pm's we have shared. Yes, things got out of hand, but 1 person can't be the blame. It's hard to convey a feeling in writing so most of the time a person may receive the wrong message. You shouldn't have to put lol etc. after every post, because we are mostly all adults here and should no better to respect the rules laid down by the RF staff and try to have decent discussions. I try as best I can to keep things on a friendly level because I just love peace...Point blank. I too have been involved in conflict here (which a lot of members are not aware of) and dealt with it in private which was the best thing I could have done. For one, no-one got a chance to witness it out in the "open" forum and 2, it made for a better and healthier relationship which I cherish now with the great friends I have found through this experience. I don't just sugar coat things here to be liked...That is just me. I am not a "proud" person either, I might as well let everyone know now. I will do all I can to make peace regardless of the situation...Whether I am in the wrong or not. Life is too short to argue! Time spent happily IMO is time well spent.

We all aren't going to get along...That is just the nature of the beast. BUT!!! We can all do our best within ourselves to make things work here. Atleast out of common courtesy. I feel if anyone needs to argue...Do it in a pm. You've got 100 free ones and if that isn't enough, you get premium membership and it boosts it to 250. That is ample space and time for anyone to work out things IMO.

I personally have nothing against you Rugie nor any other member here and I mean that from the bottom of my heart and I hope you stick around. You do IMO have a lot of knowledge to share and I am always all ears for anyone who has something to share. I just think we all need to tone things down a bit and discuss more rather than argue about who is right and who is wrong as that is not the purpose of discussion. The purpose of a discussion is to share info and learn from it. I hope we can all get along here from now on...Just my 2 cents. Sorry for the long post...I just wanted to get out what was on my mind:)
 
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Our community is all about having a good discussion founded with mutual respect. Once that respect gets put on the sidelines and the discussion gets more personal instead of informational, then a thread loses it's focus and integrity.

Everyone here wants to learn. There are a lot of subjects in the reefing community that can be dealt with in many ways. What works for one person does not always work out the same for another person.

And when advanced topics are discussed, then things can get pretty deep for sure. If a topic is not well known, there are always a lot of skeptics that want more definitive answers. It is always okay to say "I don't know" ... and it is ALWAYS expected that people will question everything in this hobby. From the simple things to the advanced things. If there is not hard concrete evidence (especially in this hobby), many people will be and will remain skeptical. We ALL have to be able to flow with that kind of discussion and not get too bent out of shape.

That is the nature of online forum discussions. First and foremost is respect. Respect comes in the form of listening to a point of view from one person and being able to also listen to the point of view from others in return. But when things get on the personl level, that is when things can spiral out of control.

Bottom line? Discuss away ... be courteous, be respectful and everything works out great.

My opinion, and my vision for this site.
 
Thanks Steve for your input, could/would you please link me to those reflections you speak of? not necessary, but I would like to witness the scope of damage.

Krish I can not imagine you being in conflict with anybody.
 
Krish I can not imagine you being in conflict with anybody

:) Well, I guess it happens to everyone at some point or the other in their lives. I look at it as a blessing though...Lesson learned and great new friend made;) It's amazing what you can accomplish if the effort is there...

Thanks Rugie:)
 
i totally agree with Steve, Krish and Chuck :)
We're all here to learn, share information, talk, discuss and joke too.
No you don't have to finish whatever you are posting with, lol or my 2 cents if it's not coming out of you just write whatever you feel like as long as it's not swearing :p .
Sometimes things here can get a little bit hard because we all have different opinions, ideas, way to do things and like Chuck said, in the Advanced topics, it can get deep in there, i can't tell you to much about the Advanced topics because I'm Still learing a lot of things in here that i didn't even know about, i look at everyone's tanks and what they do just so mine some day can be like yours :) because you all are an inspiration and motivation to continue in this hobby.
Arguing doesn't take me anywhere because i see it as a waste of time :) .
Anyways like i said, just write whatever you feel as long as it's not insulting or i believe people call it, bad mouthering (sorry krish you got me on this one) and you are kewl, we all like reading everyone's opinion :) .
 
Thanks Steve for your input, could/would you please link me to those reflections you speak of? not necessary, but I would like to witness the scope of damage.

I went to google and just typed in the words "probiotics" and "reef" there and Reef Frontiers website was the first 2 hits. Not sure if that was what he meant...
 
I went to google and just typed in the words "probiotics" and "reef" there and Reef Frontiers website was the first 2 hits. Not sure if that was what he meant...

Krish, 1 RF is famous, 2 we're the only ones talking about it which makes it kewl because people can read if they wonder what it is :) .
 
Yeah thats was what I was talking about. It wouldnt be noticed by anyone that was not interested in reefs. Please dont think I am being hard on you or anyone else. I most guilty of taking things hard myself. I cant be mad at another person. It just doesnt work for me. I'm sorry I cant link to it. I have absolutley no clue how to link anything. Nikki spent a long time one day trying to show me and I am just too dense to figure it out. I love this place and want it to be THE place cool folks go to learn about reef keeping with out all of the drama on some other sites. Here is another thing I have found out about me. I quite often hear one thing when someone means another. Other people quite often hear something entierly different from what I am trying to say. On here it can be even worse.
I think it is Curt that has a signeture to the effect of pause before hitting enter it can be a real life saver.
I promise I could not of handled the situation any better than you did. It just got out of hand and was not coming back.
 
i agree with Steve, sometimes for me it's hard because of the language barrier (yes i know i still gotta take english as a second language classes :p )so i can be saying something but i mean something totally different and people can miss understand me.
All i know is i love this place, i'm addicted to it and believe it or not it's not like any other place :) , RF is unique (you can correct me krish :p) .
 
advanced is about pushing the envelope.. and asking or demanding the reasoning and questions, but it should be done with tact and respect... not dogmatic questioning.. but for all parties to see the flaws in the system proposed... I didn't enter into the discussion because I believe I would have flamed the fire... some times it best if I shut up... and read craigslist instead of hitting enter... I have had thread pulled in a matter of minutes, not from what I posted but the reaction of others, do you need proof? well yes and no... are your intention to prove a theory? then yes... Is is it just a speculation, the it should be a question in your mind and well as presented to the community... If you have proof.. that doesnt make it right, just could be right... I disprove many authors.. that's not done with love... but its not done with animosity either... there is many ways to accomplish the same task in reefs.. not all are 100% RIGHT OR WRONG just different strokes... The Zeo threads are a perfect example, it may work, and its unexplainable....and the proof is in Pics that people dont believe... like me... but they are doing something new... and im glad..so what im tyring to say dont take a closed thread personally, unless every thread you start is closed...
 
Rugie I am sure that your thread is probibly directed mostly at me, so perhaps it might be best if I cleared the concept up a bit.

The concept of the Advance forum is to get deeper into subjects then would normally done in a general type section. Basically for folks like me, you and simular to take a subject and break it down to its nuts and bolts so we can truely understand it more and discuss the pros and cons that are involved with using it. On RF we have had topics like this for most all of the hottly debated subjects, from Zeovit to DSB to lighting and so on. ALl of these were discussed, figured out, explained (proof offered) and a list of pros and cons were developed.
When you first mentioned Pro biotics you peeked my interest, I have heard and seen them used in other aquatic areas but not in regards to hobby tanks. I asked you to start a thread and to share what you knew of them so we could once again break it down and get into the nuts and bolts of this system, you did. I assume that in being a new member here you did not realize that, that is what we do in this forum, I also guess that when the questions started coming and the debate begin you must have felt like it was an attack and thus retorted. From here everything kind of went down hill. Normally I PM the person and let them know how we deal with things, but with work these days I didnt get a chance to do that with you.
So you and other have this concept understood. All statements on any system that may have negative or positive effects will be questioned, and probibly deeply (I personally expect the same towards me) and at times when their is a conflict in a statement or something that goes against known science you will be asked for the proof you have to back up your claim. One of the plagues in this hobby if folks rambing off about this killed my tank or this made my tank the best in the world, Other folks follow suite and end up killing critters and costing themselves money (not saying you have done this).
What we try to do here is to take the subject, lets say the zeovit thread we just had a while back. We cut through the advertizing, hushed the negativity and basically broke the system down, step by step, using both scientific proof and user notes. To be honest I thought it was a great thread with alot of people involved from all over the world and we figured it out. Now if a hobbist comes to RF and wants to do some research on Zeovit they can get it, not the advertizers, "Oh yea my corals grow 3 inches a month and the color is unreal" or the negative " the stuff is poisen and water and wont do anything but kill your corals" instead they get a strong conversation, with alot of back up on both ends of the game and have a list of pros or cons they can use to make up thier own minds.
In the case of the probiotics thread. It was going to go the same way, maybe ProB has a place, maybe it needs to be administered differently or with different strains, or a different times using different methods to control it, who knows?? thats what the road the subject was supposed to travel. Things that were stated were just not possible when matched to known science, now that could have meant that the system needed tweeking or modifing??. I can see how a person could come in and take this as an attack and go on the defence (and I think this was the case) But this is what we do here, we try to cut through the advertising, and the he said she saids and all the other stuff simular that plagues the hobby and find out the real story, then let each person make a good educated choice.

If this makes sence to you Rugie (and I know it does, your a smart guy) then maybe you can see where we are coming from in this forum and join in with us on all topics knowing its not an attack its just breaking down the topic thats all. Of one thing I am sure is that you will learn more about it and so will all the other members (including myself).


Mike
 
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