Blind Man: You sure you wanna tell a Blonde Joke?

[Ed Hahn]

A Blind man enters . He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there at bar for awhile, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls deathly quiet.


In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you
tell That joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are
blind, that you should know five things:



One: The bartender is a blonde woman.

Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman.

Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional boxer.

Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional
wrestler.

Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a black
belt in karate, and a very bad attitude!


?Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?"


The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and says: "Nah??.Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

 

[Ed Hahn]

You know what they call a blonde skeleton in the Closet?


Answer: Last years Hide and Seek Champion..

 

[shallowreef]

I like the Blind Man one a lot!!!

 

[Krish]

A blonde said she was tired of people saying that they were dumb and good for nothing so said she would prove them wrong. She said she was going to be the first to go to the sun since man already landed on the moon! Everyone laughed at her and said she would burn up before she even got half the distance to the sun let alone land on it...She turned around and said you are all a bunch of idiots...I'm going at night!!

 

[shallowreef]

That one was funny too. What elese do you guys got?

 

[spongebob lover]

LOL!!! good ones boys :lol: :lol:
more more more ... please !!! :lol: :lol: there's nothing like starting the day hearing a joke :lol: :lol:

 

[Krish]

A blonde and a brunette argued about who could climb the best. The brunette said she could climb a coconut tree in 5 seconds, sure enough she did. The blonde said she could climb a street light in 3 seconds, sure enough she did it. The brunette got mad and said come by my house tonight and I'll give you something you can't climb. That night, the brunette pulled out this huge flashlight and pointed it up to the sky and said climb that! The blonde said you think I'm a fool...You are going to wait until I get to the top and cut the light off and make me fall!

 

[spongebob lover]

uhh uhh i got one

what did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home ?

answer: she moved

 

[Detri]

If blonde and a brunette jumped out of a plane, who would land first?

The Brunette, the blonde would stop and ask for directions.

 

[Krish]

LOL...

Doctor told the blonde that she was pregnant and she asked him if he was sure it was hers.

 

[sharks]

A blonde woman was having financial troubles, so she went to a local park, kidnapped a little boy, and wrote this note:

To the Boy’s Mother:
I have your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7AM.
Yours truly, The Blonde

She pinned the note inside the little boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she instructed.
Inside the bag was this note:

Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!

 

[Krish]

LOL Sharks!!! Blonde jokes in the Bahamas are called Sagillian jokes (People from Spanish Wells which is part of an island here in the Bahamas)

A blonde mother had 3 daughters...She went in the 16yr olds room and found beer bottle and said, "Oh my goodness, I didn't know you drank!" Went into the 14yr olds room and found a cigarette package and said, "I didn't know you smoked!" Lastly, she went into the 10yr old daughters room and found a package of condoms and said, "OMG!!! 10 yrs now and I didn't know you had a peni$$$

 

[spongebob lover]

LOL!!! sharks that's a pretty good one
Krish that's a good one too :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[les]

Hey,
Did you hear about the blonde receptionist that ran out of copy machine paper?
She called the office supply store and asked them to fax her over a ream of paper!!!

 

[richard55]

A blond goes to the Doctor for a check up. He taps her knee to check her reflex, he looks down her throat, checks her pluse and breathing. He then goes to look in here ear and sees she is wearing headphones. He asks her to remove the headphones so he can finish up. She responds by saying ,"I can't, I will die." The doctor assures her that he has been to the best medical schools and she will not die from removing her headphones. The blond reluctantly removes her headphones and begins to turn blue. She then falls on the ground not moving, the doctor shocked and unsure of what he is seeing picks up the headphones and puts them on, he hears a calm voice saying, "Breath in, Breath out, Breath in, Breath out.......".

 

[Krish]

Good one Richard! (LOL)

 

[wrightme43]

LOL
What do you call a smart blonde?



A golden retriever.

 

[Krish]

LOL
What do you call a smart blonde?

LOL...Impossible!

 

[spongebob lover]

:lol: :lol: LOL!!! good one Steve !!

 

[Angelscrx]

These are great. I like this one (Blond revenge):

A business man gets on a plane and he's seated next to a gorgeous blond whose reading a book. The man thinks to himself "This is going to be fun I will strike up a conversation and impress her with my knowledge ."

So he says "this is going to be a long trip so why don't we talk?" The blond says "ok about what? The business man says "nuclear physics." The blond says "let me ask you a question first; a horse craps little cubes, a cow craps splatters, and deers crap little balls but they all eat the same thing, why is that?" The business man thinks for a little bit and finally says "lady I don't know!" The blond responds "then how can you talk about nuclear physics if you don't know sh--?"