All around stress in our lives really takes a mental toll especially with loved ones. It hits us at all hours of the day and never seems to go away.
As far as owing people for equipment? You owe nothing to me.
You can drop that stress right now.
Focus on what you can. Helping your sis in her battle to stop smoking, or if that doesn't work, help her live how she wants, for as long as she can.
She has to be the one to make that life choice. Hopefully she makes the right one.
It's a tough one. I quit smoking approx. 15 years ago. It was hard for me, because it wasn't my idea in the first place. lol
As far as the tank,,,,, I'd make a few changes. But one of the things needs to stay the same and that's the lighting.
Set a schedule and leave it. I'd suggest the Radiant program. You seem to go back to it.
Leave the intensity at what the tank is acclimated to.
I seemed to have cured my 50 of the bubble algae and some nasty turf algae with the use emerald crabs, so if I were you, I would pick up 4-6. But with the knowledge that after they finish with the algae, they may go after corals. So you have to balance the problem now with future issues. So figure on removing some down the road. ( future trade bait).
I seem to be soured on Reef Crystals right now. I am having issues with my sand bed too. Same stuff you seem to have.
You mentioned that you had some temporary relief with Instant Ocean. Maybe stay with that for a while. ( I'm trying Red Sea Coral Pro).
And most importantly IMO stop worrying about ca/alk numbers.
I think testing and not having perfect numbers is a problem all in itself.
Maybe put out a trade feeler. Trade your Gyre for a couple RW-8's. New ones, and maybe a little cash. IDK, details can be worked out once someone gets interested.
I normally don't recommend Jebao, but if your not happy with what you have for flow, time to change it up.
Flow from 2 different directions may help with the sand bed issues.
I can't help you you with the goby or the corals, but I can tell you that you have friends in the hobby that care.